Rating: PG-13 for language
Starring: Tao and Chen
Length: ~550 words
Summary: Jongdae risks his life babysitting with Zitao.
a/n: myungs' (livingontofu) first fic on this community. Came up with this after going to a family gathering. Enjoy c:
Huang Zitao was finally convinced that being a one-day babysitter was far from an easy task, and Jongdae's presence wasn't helping. At all. In fact, Jongdae makes his seven months old nephew seem like a well-behaved child.
Here Zitao was wobbling from the kitchen to the living room trying to balance a bag of baby toys and a plate of biscuits on his elbows while holding a milk bottle filled to the brim after what seemed like hours of dealing with milk powder and scalding himself with hot water, and there Jongdae was dismantling the baby gym that Zitao had painstakingly set up without the crucial help of an instruction manual, telling Jiwoon in a deliberate 'infant-fied' voice of his that he should learn how to assemble this to become a capable mechanic in the future.
Zitao's next words were meant to be "Kim Jongdae you better get your hands off the gym or I'll hurl murderous baby toys at you," but instead it came out as a string of confused words more along the lines of "JimKongdaeyoubetteryethourgandsoffthegy
Dropping the bag of baby toys and setting the plate and the bottle on the floor he trudged over to Jongdae and dragged him into the empty bedroom, leaving Jiwoon to knock the dismantled plastic bars together with his tiny, clumsy hands, creating clanking sounds that tortured Zitao's ears.
Jongdae probably got the hint, because immediately after he stepped into the purple-walled room he spoke hurriedly before Zitao could suffocate him with vulgarities.
"What's wrong with teaching the kid how to build a thing I mean it's gonna do good for his futu-"
"Kids don't fucking need to learn how to build things so don't. try. anything. stupid. From this moment till you set foot outside this apartment you will do whatever I say, Kim Jongdae." Zitao couldn't care less about how rude it was to interrupt. He never did, anyway.
Jongdae bit his lip and nodded gingerly.
They emerged from the room only to be greeted by the sheer horror of Jiwoon sitting in a pool of milk with bits of biscuits floating around, slapping his hands around him to create splashes which he giggled in response to. Zitao wanted to kill someone now, and the first person on the list was none other than the short brunette in a navy varsity jacket standing beside him.
Bathing Jiwoon and cleaning up was smooth for the next few hours, and Jongdae did listen to everything Zitao said, although sometimes, as usual, he can be quite anal.
"Kill me now," Zitao mutters as he knelt on the floor, soaking up milk with both his hands grasping cloths. Jongdae, who was picking up the now soggy biscuits, immediately grabbed one of the bars of the gym laying against the wall. "I can do that."
"Go screw yourself, Jongdae."
Jongdae got up instantly and walked towards the bedroom, his face still as neutral as it always is. "I can't do it here, Zitao. Jiwoon's watching."
Zitao felt the urge to pull Jongdae onto the floor, soak his varsity jacket with the foul, dairy-smelling milk and wring the cloth used to wipe the floor on him. Exhaling to calm himself down, he spoke through gritted teeth.
"Fuck you, Kim Jongdae," said Zitao.
"guck ooo, im onggae," said Jiwoon.
"Mind your language, Huang Zitao," Jongdae exclaimed.
After the living room floor was cleaned and freed from the smell and Jiwoon was tucked to sleep by Jongdae and his lullaby (which was the only thing he did well, Zitao claimed), they slumped against the couch, the sleeves of their tops still mildly damp with Jiwoon's saliva from taking turns to lull him to sleep by cradling him in their arms. Zitao heaved a sigh while Jongdae wiped perspiration off his forehead with a piece of tissue paper.
"You should thank me, Zitao."
"Why?" The taller narrowed his eyes to look at Jongdae. "You hardly did anything properly, and you pissed me off every five seconds."
Jongdae chuckled. "Without me, Jiwoon wouldn't be sleeping right now, and you would be handling him." He turned his head to stare back at Zitao. "By yourself."
Zitao didn't answer.
Jongdae raised his voice a little as he announced, "and so for that you must treat me to ice cream."
Zitao chortled. "You forgot you had to listen to everything I say, Kim Jongdae. I now command you to not ask me to treat you ice cream."
"I'll persuade Yifan to buy you another Gucci wallet."
There was a brief silence, before Zitao spoke a word that got Jongdae leaping out of his seat.